so again, a mark, a day, a scar to reflect what happened till now and back then.
Daniel Koening thats it! (hopefully) last night in Bangkok and in 8h, on my way to Duesseldorf.lets see if it works out. around the world in 9 month !!!April 21 at 3:37pm Friends and Networks · Comment · LikeDaniel Koening back homeApril 23 at 12:41am Friends and Networks · Comment · LikeDaniel Koening germany, at least dusseldorf is cold and quite and the generell news and politics are very confusing and unreal.we even had a big election!April 24 at 9:41am Friends and Networks · Comment · Like
12 month are gone and i have normalized myself here in Düsseldorf, Germany. still not sure, if i really made my inbox zero, means all the great things i saw all around the world, do i get them now? Do i coupe with it?
When you travel long distances in fast pace, things are start to fade or kind of burn away, cause you top a great place, over a great person over an extraordinary experience. the whole time over each other again and again. so you don’t find the time to reflect upon them.
Do you need to reflect upon them? Write them down? Diary? Photos? I still dunno! Maybe yes, maybe not, maybe its just better to live it up and celebrate yourself, your life and dreams without diaries, photos and shit like that. At least you can try to give your soul the chance to catch up on you, cause the soul isn’t as fast as airplane!
Anyway. Its good to have a place to calm down, to feel home, to think about life here in Europe, in Düsseldorf. Its hard on the road. no time to pause. no time to be sick, no time to feel bad. just good. everything should be great and good. thats what people believe, when you do your „self-made sabbatical from nothingness“ – so when i think about the last 12 month here, i’m in a very good mood!
from last years worldwide summer soccer celebration to funding a co-working space in düsseldorf, meeting a lot of new people and faces in real life, running again, nice snowy wintertimes, happy about my whole patchwork family here, starting kendo again from ground zero, starting to play the ukulele, starting to snowboard and doing well,creating and realizing a public event with friends about movies for fun and no profit, now even getting rid of a long time wish on my list: doing home brews. everything is really good, but its getting even better: the best thing what could happen to my restless and lonely soul: an awesome girlfriend, i adore and really care about!
The downside of the last 12 month in just one fucking word: MONEY. its all about fuckin money. and money means work. and even if you try to work less as possible (why do wanna work a lot?) and still have your small outcome to pay the bill, its hard to play with it. society wants you to work. to consume, to give your life a meaning through your work, which is btw. the biggest lie of it all, if you’re not an artist or scientist, i guess?
my plan top get rid of my (travel)debs in the last 12 month didn’t go well. While writing these lines, there is no money at all in my pocket, no idea how to pay my rent and insurance on may 1st. – no savings, nothing. #superfail.
this sucks big time (again)! and i have NO idea, what to do about it. lots of skills on my side, but nothing society or employers value as „good working skills“, no money to start things like a work/travel/ngo-stuff or just a good coffeeplace. myself doesn’t do well in „business country“ – it is all meaningless! We don’t need all the stuff u doing/creating every day! Be a dishwasher or call yourself designer? what’s the point? whats the difference? what makes the differnce? yes, it pays the bill more conveniently, but thats all, or not? Values? Change? Help? Care? Ethics?
I have no fuckin clue. and it seems everybody around me loves his work, knows his place in the world, makes money, plays the game and get wasted … so even after all these years, i am asking myself whats wrong with me? why can’t i just do „a job“, don’t think, make money and buy shit? just able to function as a good worker?
Plans? Good Point! Getting rid of my debs. and then? no idea. the problem is, as long as i don’t find something i can do AND CARE ABOUT and MAKE MONEY. i will just running circles. so my only real problem and goal in and for the next months must be, to find a solution. find something i really care about AND making money out of it to live without poverty .